Monday, March 16, 2015

Respecting Your Husband

This year, I will celebrate my 4th anniversary with my wonderful gift from God (my husband). I am no where close to being a seasoned and experienced marriage mentor, but God has taught me and continues to teach me ways in which I can better serve Him, through serving my husband. One of the lessons I have learned is to respect my husband. Ephesians 5:33 say’s that the wife should respect her husband. What does it mean to respect your husband and how can we show respect to our husbands? Here are 4 ways in which we can demonstrate love and respect.

Attitudes are communicated through both actions and words. Growing up, my mom always said “you don’t even have to say anything because your face says it all”. God commands wives to respect their husbands. Why do you think the bible mentions respect? I think it is because women naturally love, it is easy for us to love but not to respect. We can show our husbands respect by acknowledging him as the head of the household (this does not mean he controls you or everything in your home, we will talk more on that in a minute), not challenging him in the presence of others, and respecting him without strings attached (without him “earning it”)

My husband thrives on words of affirmation, and I’ll admit that I sometimes struggle with this. I want to be authentic and not sound cheesy or forced. Affirming your husband gives him the ability to change the world! that is how much you’re positive words mean to him. You can start by simply thanking your husband for working hard for the family. You can tell your husband that you are proud of him (list specifics), and affirm him during intimacy (very important part of marriage for males, that is how they are wired).

Listen to your husband… without trying to multitask! I have a terrible habit of trying to use my phone or clean the house, or whatever the case may be. As I have recently learned, nobody is truly a multitasker, we can switch gears quickly but that does not mean we are giving our utmost attention. Give your husband the attention he deserves, and try no to interrupt (that is something else I have to pay attention too, I’m a talker and I like to interject).

This word causes uproars in our society where women and men are “one in the same”. We as Christians know that Jesus designed us differently. In fact, the Bible tells us that we are our husband’s helper. Husbands and wives are of equal value, we just have different roles and purposes. I’ll admit, when I first heard the word “submit” I thought it meant being a door mat, but this is far from the truth, it is what our culture thinks! Submission is not inferior, it does not mean you cannot make decisions nor have an opinion, it does not include verbal or physical abuse, or following your husband into sin; it is simply moving out of the way to let your husband do what God has designed him and called him to do; and that is to lead the family. I heard a wonderful example once, submission is like dancing. Your husband takes the lead and you follow, but you both dance together, you both move in sync, and that is what submission should look like.

Your husband ultimately will answer to God for how he led his family. Try letting your husband step up to God’s calling. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ in the head of the church…” Ephesians 5:22-23.

Growing your relationship with God should come first, but your marriage is the most important human relationship you have, it should take priority over everything except God. Reflect on your priorities, where did they come from? How did you form them? Is your husband included in your priorities or is he unintentionally pushed to the back (in front of children; although teaching and training your children should be the third priority). Take a second to think about what you can do to show your husband more love.

** If you are in an abusive relationship this does not apply to you. Please seek help immediately 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

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